Thoughts stay thoughts without action.
Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep the faith. It will all be worth it in the end.
Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.
On Purpose
The definition of passion…
- Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
- Strong amorous feeling or desire; love; affection.
- Strong sexual desire; lust.
- An instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
- A person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
- A strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything
- The sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death
There is the more interesting definition: suffering – the state or experience of one that suffers.
Passion is the willingness to suffer or sacrifice for something important to you.
Passion contains the essence of what purpose is about.
The definition of purpose…
- The reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.
- An intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.
- Determination; resoluteness.
Understanding what you’re passionate about, informs your purpose.
Purpose gives you a “why”.
The “why” makes each day, every task, and your “being” a thing to enjoy. Regardless of what the mundanity, you can be confident in what you are doing. You will be doing it deliberately and intentionally.
Because of your passion, you live on purpose.
A Few Poems on Valentines Day
Close close all night
By Elizabeth Bishop
Close close all night
the lovers keep.
They turn together
in their sleep,
Close as two papers
in a book
that read each other
in the dark.
Each knows all
the other knows,
learnt by heart
from head to toes.
If Thou Must Love Me
By Elizabeth Barrett Browning
If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only. Do not say
I love her for her smile … her look … her way
Of speaking gently, … for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day’—
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry,—
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou may’st love on, through love’s eternity.
Love
By Roy Croft
I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple.
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good.
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.
Know Who You Are (Not)
Explore yourself
- In three words, describe your personality.
- List five of your most dominant interests.
- Describe your character, including your virtues, vices, strengths, and weaknesses.
- List the past four opportunities that opened doors for you. Who facilitated those opportunities?
- In the coming year, what opportunities would you like to have open to you?
- Who are the people with who you most often deal? List the greatest joy(s) and the greatest challenge(s) in dealing with them.
- If you have a mentor, describe what you admire about your mentor. If you do not yet have a mentor, describe what qualities you’d like your mentor to have — qualities that you would like to emulate.
- List the places where you have lived. What possibilities did each place offer you?
- List the places where you have traveled to. You can list just the ones that had a clear effect on you or all of them. In each place, what changed in you as a result of your visit? What did visiting each place teach you?
Who You Are Not
There’s a lot in this speech by McConaughey. From 11:11 to 13:33 is a great thought about knowing who you are by first figuring out who you are not.
The Paradox of Our Age
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this essay to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
Remember to say “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
and always remember…
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
– Dr. Bob Moorehead
Taking Care of Yourself
You do a really good job of taking care of yourself physically. You work out, you eat right, but that’s not all there is. Your mind needs to be in good shape too. What does that look like? I think it’s different for everyone, so it might take a little experimentation to discover what works for you.
Some Ideas
- Read: You know you like to do it. Plus it provides you with mental stimulation, stress reduction, improves your focus, allows you to “escape” without having to go anywhere, and all sorts of other benefits.
- Write: On paper. It’s good for you.
- Meditate: Being able to calm your mind is a skill. Build that skill.
- Challenge yourself: Get out of your comfort zone. Learn or do something you might not be good at or even interested in.
- Remember the past: take the time to remember details of something from your past you love and enjoy. Write it down, you’ll have something comforting to read and add to later when you need it. Why? To remember where you’ve been and to know how far you’ve come.
- Take a walk: Get outside. Move your feet. It’s not an intense workout, more of a way to focus and free your brain.
- Be alone: It’s another skill to develop. Being happy alone releases you from the tethers of always having to be around someone else.
- Be with people: Find good people to be around and do it. You can also just go to a coffee shop, the gym, or even the mall to be around other people.
- Talk to a counselor or therapist: Professionals who are trained to help you figure this out are a great resource for solutions and the reason why you might be feeling the way you’re feeling.
- Observe: Engage with everything around you. This means focusing on things outside of you and disengaging with distractions. Try to find the interesting in the mundane or try to see the everyday differently. Write it down, take photos, or don’t.
Wine, Balance, & Relationships
My wife and I are into wine. No, not the look-down-your-nose-wine-snob kind of into wine, the kind where we like to drink wine. We like good wine, and we like to try different types of wine. So, sometimes we get a bad one. That is part of the experience though, getting the know the good from the bad by experiencing different wines. The other night over a very good glass of wine (or, two) we were having a discussion about people that we know and our friends and how well they got along with their spouses. We’re lucky enough to know some great people. We’re also lucky enough that we get along with both of the people in their relationship.
Balance, yin & yang, or whatever you want to call it is a very important part of why I think many relationships work so well. One person picks up where the other leaves off. For example, I suck at finances, Sara, my wife, kills it in regards to finances. I used to stress out about being better at finances, thinking I need to be as good as her at it. I don’t do that anymore. I let her handle it. She’s much better at it than I am. The point is I’ve let go of something I know she is better at than I am. She does the same thing.
Letting go and focusing on balance:
- Removes tons of unneeded pressure in the relationship.
- Frees up both time.
- Frees up energy.
- Allows each person to focus on what they are good at.
- Allows each person to focus things they each want to do.
- Increases trust between both people.
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
― Oscar Wilde
The point I’m attempting to make is “balance”. Don’t go all out dropping anything you think you’re no good at. Communicate, evaluate, and think about the things that cause you stress or anxiety, and see if there is something both of you can scale back on, change, or yes, drop. Then focus that freed up energy and time on something that you know you’re good at or on something you want to do. The interaction between the two of you figuring whatever it is out, and then planning what you’re going to do about it is itself something that not many people get to experience.
Just like wine, you’re going to get some good ones that work out great, and you’re going to get some bad ones that don’t work out at all. The important part is you get the experience and now know what you will and will not do. Good luck, have fun with it, & cheers!
Be The Cheerleader
Sara (my wife) is the best cheerleader on the planet. She believes so much in me that it almost makes me sick (I can’t imagine what other people think). Regardless of what I’m doing or going through, she is right there supporting, helping, or just adding her “you can do it!” two cents. I know I’m super lucky to have someone like that in my life. I’m even luckier that this person is my wife and my best friend.
I attempt to be a cheerleader for her. I’m not sure if I succeed, or even get close but, I’ve found that she isn’t he only one to benefit from my cheerleading. I benefit too. Being someone’s cheerleader gets you involved on a deeper level, shows you’re interested, and gives you a different perspective.
Getting Involved
As the cheerleader you are involved, even if your cheerleading is only limited to jumping around and being excited for the other person. It is rarely limited to that though. Let them bounce ideas and questions off of you. You ask your own questions to find out more. You get involved and try to help solve problems. You’re invested in what they are doing and the results. That alone should warrant you picking up the pompoms!
Showing You’re Interested
The questions, suggestions, playing devil’s, any way that you get involved all show them that you are interested in what is going on and in their success. Your interest makes them feel important and when it comes down to it, that is all everyone wants, is to feel important. So get interested, find out how you can help, and you’re providing something that not many people get enough of, but should.
Looking At Things From A Different Perspective
Simply put you’re giving them a different perspective, somewhat objective, and that is very valuable. This is why other people need cheerleaders, why that need to talk things out, so they can get that other perspective. That isn’t where it ends though. Many times, the suggestions I give to Sara help me in my own tasks and problems. It gets me to stop, take a step back and look at things from the other side, or at least another angle. The ability to do that has helped me with problems and my adventures many, many times.
Cheerleading doesn’t have to be limited to your wife or husband, it needs to be done for your kids, your friends, and even for yourself. Being a cheerleader is one of the best things I can think of that you can do for someone else.