Good Family Man

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The Benefits of Being Grateful

March 21, 2021 by John Crosby Leave a Comment

Here are 7 scientifically proven benefits:

  1. Gratitude improves physical health – Grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and report feeling healthier than other people, according to a 2012 study published in Personality and Individual Differences. Not surprisingly, grateful people are also more likely to take care of their health. They exercise more often and are more likely to attend regular check-ups, which is likely to contribute to further longevity.
  2. Gratitude improves psychological health – Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher, has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.
  3. Boosts the immune system – Gratitude has been shown to help contribute to an overall sense of well-being. Stress lowers the immune response to potential bodily threats, whereas increased mental well-being can help your body fight off illness, according to a 2004 research review. Practicing gratitude also has the ability to improve other aspects of physical health, with one early-stage 2017 studyTrusted Source suggesting it can reduce the risks associated with heart failure.
  4. Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression – Grateful people are more likely to behave in a prosocial manner, even when others behave less kindly, according to a 2012 study by the University of Kentucky. Study participants who ranked higher on gratitude scales were less likely to retaliate against others, even when given negative feedback. They experienced more sensitivity and empathy toward other people and a decreased desire to seek revenge.
  5. Grateful people sleep better – Writing in a gratitude journal improves sleep, according to a 2011 study published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being. Spend just 15 minutes jotting down a few grateful sentiments before bed, and you may sleep better and longer.
  6. Gratitude improves self-esteem – A 2014 study published in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology found that gratitude increased athletes’ self-esteem, an essential component to optimal performance. Other studies have shown that gratitude reduces social comparisons. Rather than becoming resentful toward people who have more money or better jobs, a major factor in reduced self-esteem, grateful people are able to appreciate other people’s accomplishments.
  7. Gratitude improves relationships – Not only does saying “thank you” constitute good manners, but showing appreciation can help you win new friends, according to a 2014 study published in Emotion. The study found that thanking a new acquaintance makes them more likely to seek an ongoing relationship. So whether you thank a stranger for holding the door or send a thank-you note to that colleague who helped you with a project, acknowledging other people’s contributions can lead to new opportunities.
  8. Gratitude increases mental strength – For years, research has shown gratitude not only reduces stress, but it may also play a major role in overcoming trauma. A 2006 study published in Behavior Research and Therapy found that Vietnam War veterans with higher levels of gratitude experienced lower rates of post-traumatic stress disorder. A 2003 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that gratitude was a major contributor to resilience following the terrorist attacks on September 11. Recognizing all that you have to be thankful for, even during the worst times, fosters resilience.
  9. Gratitude Increases optimism – Being an optimistic person can have plenty of health benefits, including healthy aging, according to a 2019 studyTrusted Source. If you’re not naturally optimistic, gratitude practice can help you cultivate an optimistic outlook, as suggested by a 2018 study. In an older 2003 study, it took just 10 weeks of regular gratitude practice for participants to feel more optimistic and positive about their present lives and the future.

Practicing Gratitude

You can practice gratitude in lots of different ways, like:

  • Exercises like journaling
  • Paying attention to the little things in life, like the birds in the trees
  • Telling someone you’re grateful for them or for something they did, even if it was a long time ago
  • Doing something kind for someone in your life to express your gratitude
  • Reflecting and/or meditating on the positive aspects of your life
  • Giving thanks through prayer

Filed Under: Notes to The Kid

Things to do as a Phoenician

March 12, 2021 by John Crosby Leave a Comment

ASU Campus Secret Garden

The Secret Garden is a secluded courtyard nestled in between buildings Dixie Gammage Hall and West Hall in the heart of the Tempe campus. It is just a walk from Hayden lawn or the COOR building.

Evelyn Hallman Pond

https://goo.gl/maps/U6QbfcnBtSBfW7J17 

If you’re looking for a relaxing park away from all the excitement in Tempe, head north of Tempe Town Lake to Evelyn Hallman Pond where you can fish, hike, or enjoy the shade on a hot summer’s day.

Fossil Creek

https://goo.gl/maps/ozW1QTdvRwCa7CxR8 

Dip, splash, and play in the cool waters at Fossil Creek. Don’t drive six hours north to enjoy waterfalls and gorgeous scenery!

Haji-Baba

https://goo.gl/maps/MqsLD7BdAYqaxjh47 

Haji-Baba’s offers affordable, quick, and out-of-this-world Middle Eastern food. Haji-Baba’s, known to locals as simply, “Haji’s”.

The Original Hoagie Shop

https://g.page/original-hoagie-shop?share 

Some of the best sandwiches in Tempe, With some of the best Philly cheese steak sandwiches, hoagies, pastas, salads, and more, The Original Hoagie Shop’s got it all!

Desert Botanical Garden

https://dbg.org/

Hike Camelback Mountain

https://goo.gl/maps/5Mrh4sEE58BAZQfZ9 

It’s easy to get to, just make sure you keep a watchful eye for no-tow zones in neighborhoods. Designated parking is right off the street and near the closest trailhead.

Her Secret is Patience

https://goo.gl/maps/5cNUW7vGE3v5xRYJ6 

This Phoenix art installation was originally adapted from the Ralph Waldo Emerson quote, “Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience,” and is elegantly displayed in the Phoenix Civic Space Park. The installation was designed by Janet Echelman and took a massive team of architects, designers, engineers, and fabricators to create the masterpiece that stands today.

The Mystery Castle

https://goo.gl/maps/HQ1nNn3STpga4vD37 

Built Boyce Luther Gulley abandoned his wife and family and built this unique castle over the course of 15 years. He used a combination of goat’s milk, cement, mortar, adobe, salvaged metal parts like railroad tracks, poles, car parts, and, well, whatever else he could get his hands on. His story isn’t exactly a fairy tale, but this hidden gem isn’t one you want to miss.

Filed Under: Notes to The Kid

On Purpose

February 28, 2021 by John Crosby Leave a Comment

The definition of passion…

  1. Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
  2. Strong amorous feeling or desire; love; affection.
  3. Strong sexual desire; lust.
  4. An instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
  5. A person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
  6. A strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything
  7. The sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death

There is the more interesting definition: suffering – the state or experience of one that suffers.

Passion is the willingness to suffer or sacrifice for something important to you.

Passion contains the essence of what purpose is about.

The definition of purpose…

  1. The reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.
  2. An intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.
  3. Determination; resoluteness.

Understanding what you’re passionate about, informs your purpose.

Purpose gives you a “why”.

The “why” makes each day, every task, and your “being” a thing to enjoy. Regardless of what the mundanity, you can be confident in what you are doing. You will be doing it deliberately and intentionally.

Because of your passion, you live on purpose.

Filed Under: For You, For Your Kids, For Your Wife, Notes to The Kid

Be Outside – Nature Is Good For Your Body and Mind

February 21, 2021 by John Crosby Leave a Comment

Mind

A walk in the park may soothe the mind and, in the process, change the workings of our brains in ways that improve our mental health, according to an interesting new study of the physical effects on the brain of visiting nature.

Walk in Nature: Good for Brain, Good for Spirit

[T]he volunteers who had strolled along the quiet, tree-lined paths showed slight but meaningful improvements in their mental health, according to their scores on the questionnaire. They were not dwelling on the negative aspects of their lives as much as they had been before the walk.

How Walking in Nature Changes the Brain

Body

Intuitively we knew that nature was good for us as humans, but the results were beyond brilliant

BBC Earth – How nature is good for our health and happiness

Exposure to nature not only makes you feel better emotionally, it contributes to your physical wellbeing, reducing blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, and the production of stress hormones. It may even reduce mortality

How Does Nature Impact Our Wellbeing?

[One] study found people who walked for 90 minutes in a natural environment showed reduced neural activity in a part of the brain linked to risk for mental illness compared to those who walked in an urban environment.

What Happens to Your Body When You Spend Time in Nature

Filed Under: Notes to The Kid

A Few Poems on Valentines Day

February 14, 2021 by John Crosby Leave a Comment

Close close all night

By Elizabeth Bishop

Close close all night
the lovers keep.
They turn together
in their sleep,
Close as two papers
in a book
that read each other
in the dark.
Each knows all
the other knows,
learnt by heart
from head to toes.

If Thou Must Love Me

By Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only. Do not say
I love her for her smile … her look … her way
Of speaking gently, … for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day’—
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry,—
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou may’st love on, through love’s eternity.

Love

By Roy Croft

I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple.
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good.
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.

Filed Under: For You, For Your Wife, Notes to The Kid

Your Response to Music Can Provide Good Insight

February 7, 2021 by John Crosby Leave a Comment

If you’re emotional about something, it’s a good sign that you care about it, that you are invested. It’s also a good sign that you’re a good person who can empathize with others. Music is one of those things that can reveal your emotion when you least expect it.

Music appreciation involves social cognition. People sensitive and willing to empathize with the misfortune of another person — in this case represented by the sad music — are somehow rewarded by the process.

Tuomas Eerola

When you get emotional, take a minute to think about what about and why. It’ll give you a good idea of what you care about, what matters to you, and maybe why.

The Boys of Fall can mean a lot. What does it mean to you?

What did you think about?

What got to you?

Those things are important. It reveals what you appreciate, prioritize, and care about.

A few articles about why songs make you cry

  • When Music Makes You Cry
  • The personality trait that makes you cry at sad music
  • Having A Bawl: Why Does Music Make People Cry?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Enjoy where you are and what you are doing

February 1, 2021 by John Crosby Leave a Comment

It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.

– Ernest Hemingway 

9 things you can do to appreciate “the now”

  1. Show gratitude: Find something every single day that you’re thankful for. Big or small, it all matters. Tell people how much you appreciate them.
  2. Be committed: Set your goals and stick with them. They made need some adjusting along the way, but you’ll keep your eye on the prize.
  3. Hold out for good friends: Be around people who love you, not your success. Nurture your relationships and be a true friend without judgment.
  4. Keep learning: The world is changing rapidly. Whatever your interests, continue to follow them. There is always something new to learn about everything.
  5. Don’t multi-task, mono-task: Trying to do more than one thing at once causes burnout and keeps you from focusing on the present.
  6. Practice balance: Easier said than done, but essential. You can’t enjoy where you’re at and what you’re doing if you are focused on something else. Whether it is the phone, work, or school, practice leaving it behind sometimes.
  7. Make family first: Spend time with your family whenever you can. Nothing says I love you more than taking the time to be involved in their lives.
  8. Create memories: If it is traveling to a new place, or doing the same old things with your family and friends. The memories are what matter.
  9. Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t: Focus on the present moment, not the past or the future.

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.

John Burroughs

Filed Under: Notes to The Kid

Sometimes You Should Just Have a Cookie

January 24, 2021 by John Crosby Leave a Comment

Sometimes you just have to make some chocolate chip cookies, sit down with a glass of milk and eat a couple of them. Here’s a recipe I haven’t tried yet but looks really good.

Ooey Gooey Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients

  • 1 1/4 cups of flour
  • 3 tbsp. of cornstarch
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1/2 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 cold stick of butter (1/2 cup)
  • 6 tbsp. of granulated sugar
  • 6 tbsp. brown sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips. About 10-11 oz (or 1/2 a bag if you want less chocolate)

Other supplies needed

  • Baking sheets
  • Parchment paper
  • Two mixing bowls (one for dry ingredients and a larger one for wet ingredients)
  • Electric handheld mixer
  • Spoon

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 475°
  2. Prepare baking sheets with parchment paper to prevent sticking
  3. In the smaller mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, corn starch, salt, and baking soda
  4. Cut stick of butter into smaller pieces (as seen in video)
  5. In the larger mixing bowl, combine the butter, sugar, brown sugar, egg, and vanilla extract
  6. Gently in the dry ingredients into the larger mixing bowl (as seen in the video)
  7. Add in chocolate chips. Mix gently until fully combined.
  8. Using a full size spoon (tablespoon), make cookie dough balls and place them on the baking sheet
  9. Bake for 6-7 minutes or until the tops of the cookies get golden/brown (keep your eye on them:)
  10. Remove from the oven and let them cool (they’ll continue to cook on the inside while they cool)
  11. For the softest cookies, eat them when they are warm, not totally cooled

Makes 18 Cookies 

TIP: To make EXTRA LARGE cookies, double the size of the cookie dough balls using 2 tablespoon scoops and increase the baking time to 9-10 minutes. Makes 9 cookies if made larger.

Filed Under: For You, Notes to The Kid

Know Who You Are (Not)

January 17, 2021 by John Crosby Leave a Comment

Explore yourself

  1. In three words, describe your personality.
  2. List five of your most dominant interests.
  3. Describe your character, including your virtues, vices, strengths, and weaknesses.
  4. List the past four opportunities that opened doors for you. Who facilitated those opportunities?
  5. In the coming year, what opportunities would you like to have open to you?
  6. Who are the people with who you most often deal? List the greatest joy(s) and the greatest challenge(s) in dealing with them.
  7. If you have a mentor, describe what you admire about your mentor. If you do not yet have a mentor, describe what qualities you’d like your mentor to have — qualities that you would like to emulate.
  8. List the places where you have lived. What possibilities did each place offer you?
  9. List the places where you have traveled to. You can list just the ones that had a clear effect on you or all of them. In each place, what changed in you as a result of your visit? What did visiting each place teach you?

Who You Are Not

There’s a lot in this speech by McConaughey. From 11:11 to 13:33 is a great thought about knowing who you are by first figuring out who you are not.

Filed Under: For You, For Your Kids, For Your Wife, Notes to The Kid

“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”

January 16, 2021 by John Crosby Leave a Comment

“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”

Bruce Lee

Filed Under: Notes to The Kid

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